The Next Right Thing

When the people who raise us need our help, the role reversal can be gradual or stunningly sudden. Either way, it smacks us down in a brand new place, especially if we are raising children--in my case, teens.

For me it's like standing on a wobbly platform between two trains whooshing past me in different directions. Sometimes, it feels like all I am doing is waving goodbye with both arms. "Wait! I'm not ready!" I want to shout. "There's too much I haven't done yet! Mistakes that haven't been fixed!"

Kids and parents: just when you think you've figured out how to deal with them, they morph into different, unrecognizable beings. You know they're getting ready to pull out of the station, in more ways than one, and instead of being the serene, grounded, mature parent/child with all the answers, you're often clueless. (It doesn't help that your children think you're clueless/out of touch/lame, too, even if they only voice that opinion half the time they think it). You're stumbling around from question to question, breath to breath, sometimes crisis to crisis. Holding on tight one moment, trying to let go the next, and praying to know which to do when.

A lot of my life at this point boils down to asking, "Okay, what's the next right thing to do here?" and then attempting to do it, with a minimum of gnashing of teeth, tearing of hair, and renting of garments. Sometimes the next right thing to do is have the big talk with your parents about driving, and sometimes the next right thing to do is take a nap. I feel my way in the dark a lot. It's baffling, maddening, exhausting and filled with strange and unexpected moments of grace. In many ways, it feels like one of the most sacred passages I'll ever travel, and I'm lucky to get to do it. Many people don't.

But I could use some help, and maybe you could, too. Companionship on the journey.

Enter blog.

My aim here is to create a dialogue and exchange, along with some thoughtful posts on this subject. I'd like to feature guest bloggers. Just like the rest of my life, I'm feeling my way with the blog. It will most likely be erratic and messy and full of disjointed ramblings--just so it feels familiar and somehow, comfortable.

Welcome.